It is a serious thing,
To be alive,
On this fresh morning, 
In this broken world.
- Mary Oliver

There is something extraordinary about the human capacity to hold opposing circumstances in tension. We all acknowledge the presence of good and evil in our lives. It’s not a matter of whether that’s true — the question is, how do we respond? 

That question has been top of mind in recent weeks. Right now, like many of us, I’m experiencing joy and loss in tandem. And right now, I’m compelled to share the good news.

GOOD NEWS | PART 1

The first piece of good news is that AARON AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!

Aaron is the most loving, intelligent, kind, hilarious, thoughtful, fearless, and faithful man I’ve ever met. Now that we’re sharing the news, I’ll say what sounds wild until you’ve actually moved forward... I knew after a couple weeks of dating Aaron that he was the man I would marry. He is my greatest blessing and I could not be more excited for all that’s to come. Marriage is a leap of faith but I have resolute confidence in God and in Aaron for our life together. It’s in those big leaps that we’re led to profound places.

Aaron and I began planning our wedding day back in January. The plan was to get married in Yosemite National Park on May 17, 2020 with fifteen of our closest family members and friends. We invited guests, booked accommodations and flights, received our wedding permit from the National Park Service, secured a photographer, paid to rush order my wedding dress… it was all a little overwhelming, but mostly we were just so excited for that day. 

We’ve since had to postpone. We’re not alone in this. We empathize with other couples who’ve had to do the same, some who’ve been planning for much longer and who have invested far more. Our hope is still to get married this Spring. This week we received some good news in that Colorado has now updated its marriage license policy for couples to proceed through electronic means, so we will still be able to move forward soon. In the time between starting to write this and now sharing it… this news has been one of several answered prayers!

ON GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE

I think there’s space for mourning the loss of all things right now, both big and small. Our spaces are changing, yes. Yet there is still enough space to feel what you need to whatever you’re personally dealing with. People are missing out on trips, graduations, weddings, experiences, gatherings, and physical touch. People are losing jobs, shifting their work and school environments, adapting their daily rhythms, and rationing their supplies. People are hurting financially, people are fighting for a better outcome, people are getting sick, people are bravely caring for the sick, people are losing loved ones, and people are dying. We can acknowledge all of it. We can mourn the loss of things, and we can also practice gratitude for the goodness and beauty in our lives. 

It is understandable to feel: disheartened, anxious, fearful, unsteady, fragile, depleted, overwhelmed, and somber.

And by God’s grace, it is still possible to feel: grateful, hopeful, joyful, unafraid, assured, secure, and at peace.

ON LIVING TOGETHER

Right now, we are living history. What will the record look like years from now when we turn our thoughts back to this time? It’s difficult to imagine. What I find notable is how we’re experiencing the emotions of these days so communally. More than any other time in recent history, our interconnectedness cannot be denied and our afflictions cannot be avoided. 

Our uncertainty is a shared uncertainty. 
Our fear is a shared fear. 
Our loss is a shared loss.

Really. Where do we turn when we realize we can’t save ourselves? 

I don’t mean “save ourselves” in a way that refers to an individual social-distancing or placing themselves on quarantine, which is the obvious imperative here. What I do mean is our inability to ultimately avoid suffering, loss, and death — the harsh reality that’s pressing down harder these days. Our illusion of control has been freshly shattered. 

In the midst of this, there is a sense of belonging to each other as global citizens of a shared home. A way of viewing the world as one family in which every individual sees a fellow human being as a precious brother or sister.

As we process our shared grief, I wonder whether our hope can ever be a shared hope.

It all comes back to love, doesn’t it?

FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE

Last year, Aaron and I traveled to California for our friends’ wedding. This was a couple who I love dearly and who has navigated far more hardship prior to their marriage than most people I know. During their ceremony, the officiant spoke about the character of love and reiterated throughout his message that love is sacrificial. Love means placing another person above yourself. Love means to earnestly serve even and especially at great personal cost. Love means giving your life to someone. 

As the group in attendance witnessed the exchange of vows, we heard the familiar words...

To have and to hold from this day forward, 
for better, for worse, 
for richer, for poorer, 
in sickness and in health, 
to love and to cherish, 
As long as we both shall live.

In light of recent events, I come back to these words of commitment. They are relevant not only to married couples. In a way, they apply to us all. For many of us, we feel that we have seen better days. At present, many of us see sharply how things are getting worse. For better, for worse, we hold on to life. And we wonder, how do we love and cherish life and people amidst sickness, scarcity, and sorrow?

ON MISSION

For followers of Jesus Christ, we turn to the gospel (aka the real Good News). We turn to the good news of who Jesus is, what He has done on our behalf, and how He loves us. There we find hope and a way forward that makes peace with the tensions of life and death.

Back in December, Aaron and I went to see the film 1917. The story takes place at the height of World War I at the Western Front. Two British soldiers, Lance Cpl. Schofield and Lance Cpl. Blake, are sent to deliver an urgent message to an isolated regiment that is about to walk into a trap where they’ll be massacred. It is wholly up to the two of them to reach their fellow soldiers, alert them to the danger, and potentially save 1,600 men — including Blake’s own brother. To accomplish this mission, they must move quickly and cross through enemy territory, which over the course of the film presents all sorts of difficult and deadly hurdles.

It’s an emotional and powerful journey, well supported by incredible performances, music, and cinematography. The film is shot to appear as a single, continuous take which leads the audience to feel like we’re living through these moments with the characters in real-time. Throughout the film, you see glimpses of the war’s scale and devastation, but the choice to focus on these two brave men humanizes the history to us and magnifies what’s at stake for the individual as well as the masses. We feel the weight of the ticking clock with them. Through their eyes we see a larger epic unfold. Notably, they are two simple, ordinary men — they are not chosen to go because of their particular status, skills, or strength. The story rests entirely on their willingness to fulfill their mission.

The story calls to mind this question: If you had news that could rescue people from death, would you give your life to ensure that they would have the opportunity to hear it and be saved?

Once we were out of the theater we of course dove into our commentary about the film. Aaron was quick to point out the gospel parallels in the story. He launched into an impassioned speech about wanting to have that same drive, that same fire when it comes to sharing the truth of Jesus. One of the things I love most about Aaron is how much he loves God, people, and life — and how that love inspires him toward action. He holds God at the forefront of daily conversation. He testifies to his reason for hope and joy. He invites people to know Jesus. Tell me about Jesus, he says. What is God teaching you, he asks. He is open with his own story, and his authenticity affects people. 

Sometimes, as people, we can forget to show love as time goes on. We have people that we love, but we don’t do a good job of acting like it. Family, friends, lovers — they become familiar and we may let our guard down. We say hurtful things. We choose ourselves over them. We show our sharp edges to those we hold close. 

Sometimes, as Christians, we’re just as forgetful of our love for God. Our actions show that — perhaps our inaction even more so. God’s love has transformed everything and is the reason for our hope — yet too often we keep this to ourselves. We are not given Jesus’ example to simply admire it, but to follow it — yet too often we lose our zeal. 

“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” - Romans 12:11

The story of Christ is mysterious, supernatural, and unexpected. It’s also real, rational, and life-changing. We need fresh gratitude to see the beauty and grace of it properly. We need courage and passion to share it with others from a place of love.

I never want to make God into something so familiar that I stop pursuing him. In this relationship, there is always more to discover and love — I will never exhaust that possibility.

The gospel is universal. The gospel is the archetype of sacrificial love. It is the story that breathes life into us, and allows souls to make meaning out of time and experience.

GOOD NEWS | PART 2

The good news is that while we exist in our human condition, we have a God who loves us unconditionally.

Embracing the reality of good news also indicates that there is bad news. People don’t like to admit that, even though we’re living it. Our feeds are full of it. They tell us the story of bad news.

Right now, the COVID-19 pandemic is making us collectively and acutely aware of life’s fragility in a way that many of us have never experienced. We accept distraction and meaninglessness until we’re forced to value time differently. We don’t wrestle with the hard questions until we’re surrounded by them. We forget our own deaths all the time. But the world has always been and will always be in need of good news. 

We see the destruction that comes from our own desires and selfish urges to act for our own benefit at the expense of others. From the beginning, sin has been our failure to fully love God and others, our inability to judge whether we’re succeeding or failing, and our impulses that lead us to times of relational breakdown despite our best efforts. A common aim is to “be a good person” and while that’s admirable and well-intentioned, it’s simply not enough. It doesn’t redeem what’s been lost. It doesn’t stop the cycle of sin. It doesn’t overcome the brokenness of our world. 

 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” - John 3:16-17

Jesus Christ is depicted as the son of our loving Creator. God sent Jesus to earth as a human — to live, love, struggle, sacrifice, and die alongside his beloved creation. Jesus perfectly loved God and others and it is for this reason that he is perfectly sufficient to pay the cost of our sins. Though he himself was blameless, he took responsibility for humanity’s history of failure by facing death through his crucifixion. Then three days later, he was raised from the dead to life again to offer us redemption through the gift of his righteous life that covers for our failures. While we lament the suffering and death that results from our actions, we are invited to repent, believe in Jesus, and receive salvation and eternal life with him.

We are all moved by stories of heroism, self-sacrifice, adventure, victory, redemption, justice, mercy, goodness, and love. That is the story of Jesus and his love for us.

The officiant was right: love is a sacrifice.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33